During the audition I was moved at various times to smack the soundboard with my knuckles, blow into the back of the harp through the soundholes to make the strings vibrate, play with both hands holding guitar picks, make hammer-on noises by flipping levers, and play with my eyes closed to imitate Turlough O'Carolan. If I actually get the part I may reduce the instrument to lumber by the dress rehearsal.
- Mood:
amused
In honor of the lovely Christmas week weather here in the mid-Atlantic.
Oh the weather outside is soggy,
Kinda wet, and kinda foggy.
But it's fruitless to complain:
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain.
It doesn't show signs of stopping
And my cats are outside, sopping.
Should I let them in to drain?
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain.
If we finally get some snow,
How I'll hate going out on the street
It's vehicular tae kwon do:
Accelerate, skid, and repeat!
The roof is gently leaking,
And I think, that, strictly speaking,
"White Christmas" is inhumane.
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain.
( Some of these questions are kind of stupid )
( Are you listening, Hank Paulson?? )
The first candidate for Prince George's County Council who proposes a serious solution to the effing deer problem down here has my vote, not just in this election but forever. ARE YOU LISTENING, MARILYN BLAND?? I will support you for Secretary General of the UN if you will just get these goddamn retard ungulates away from my property, keep them from clogging up the roads with their gruesome carcasses, and above all STOP THEM FROM RUNNING INTO MY CAR.
Yes, that's right. I collided with a deer tonight. A young stag, two-pointer. But it would be inaccurate to say I hit a deer, because in fact, he hit me. Charged right at my Jeep on an unlighted stretch of Croom Road, banged smack into the driver's door, and broke two of his legs. I got to watch the pathetic dumbass drag himself into a field, where he was doomed to die a slow painful death. I couldn't have put him out of his misery even if I'd had a gun, because the zoning board has seen fit to carve the entire western half of the rural tier into five acre lots and then forbid the shooting of deer on any parcel smaller than 50 acres.
Damage to the Jeep was unbelievably minimal: a tiny dent and a scrape in the paint. Damage to my psyche a little more serious. My heart tells me I'm a murdering thug, but my head knows perfectly well I did nothing wrong. I'm seriously pissed off, and not at the deer. I am pissed at the pathetic DNR management in this state that has let the deer population explode with no mitigation plan other than, apparently, letting citizens cull the herd with their motor vehicles. Good gravy, every time a black bear knocks over a beehive in Carroll County it's a media frenzy. The damage bears cause is minusule compared to deer.
I repeat: Seriously. Pissed. Off.
- Mood: angry
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
an_idle_fellow and I stood up in front of a dozen amused onlookers and swore in front of a Fishers, Indiana justice of the peace that we would have and hold in sickness and in health etc etc. I hope that "sickness" part included congenital doofiness.( 'Cause here's how I spent the day )
I just downloaded an LJ app for my iPhone. I already had one for Facebook. Now my every thought, no matter how trivial or mundane, can be uploaded twice!
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
- Location:38.810944, -76.747375
Every once in awhile, it's good to be reminded just how much trust can be placed in information flows. For me, this usually happens when a cable talking head show or a magazine article relays a "fact" concerning some topic in which I am fairly well versed: the doctrine of the Catholic Church, an obscure event in Scottish history, the cultural habits of Hoosiers, the content of Adam Smith's Theory of Moral Sentiments, or some such. This makes me less credulous when the topic is unfamiliar. When I've just heard Newsweek's lead religion reporter completely mangle the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception, it makes me a lot less inclined to swallow some idiocy about Islam or Mormonism.
( But sometimes, you overhear stuff about yourself that's just as funny, if not nearly as consequential )
- Mood: amused
It's not a huge tragedy, and it's not unexpected. He's very old for his breed, and he had been slowly declining for quite some time. He has been totally blind for over a year, and arthritis and simple old age have stolen his mobility bit by bit. But as late as last week he was still able to climb the stairs to our bedroom at night, or be led down the porch steps for a short turn on the grass. And he still had his legendary saluki appetite.
( Read more... )
Most of my friends and most of my attention now reside in the New York - Washington corridor. But seven years ago I lived in the middle of flyover country.
I wrote this on the fifth anniversary. It took me 48 hours to recover just from writing it. I'm throwing it out for those of you who were here, on top of it all, to see how it looked from so far away.
OK, those with your hands raised....how many got a mental image of Jim Greene pucking a rat down a garbage-strewn alley in the Atlas District?
I can't be the only one.
Next year, please, someone remind me that Labor Day is Feeble Old Geezer Day at MDRF. That way I will plan ahead and get well and truly hammered before noon. Then maybe I can be affable and polite
( when I have to spend the next seven hours trapped inside the television set with Grandpa Simpson. )Like every other 13-year-old on the North American continent, my own Young Anne Bonney is fascinated with manga.
Like a smaller, but still not insignificant, subset of the above, she has some (in fact, quite a bit of) drawing talent, which has progressed from copying to emulating to developing her own manga style.
However, in what I must assume is a completely unique twist, she dresses her characters in clothes copied from my Orvis catalogs. She's apparently set on cornering the futuristic pink punk-haired waif in Harris tweed shooting jacket market. Hell, for all I know she'll be buying me a beach house in a few years on the proceeds.
- Mood: amused
Yeah, it's a crab. The lady who owns the little pet store where I get Pampered Husky Princess's raw frozen dog food has two viszlas who have the run of the store. One day a couple of weeks ago I went in there and both of them were running around like maniacs, each with one of these crabs in its mouth. And then they'd stop, drop the crabs on the floor, and stomp on them to make them squeak. Except its really more like honking. So of course I had to have a bright red and yellow honking crab the size of a dinner plate for Kisa. I'm sure you'll be astonished to learn that there were a couple of dozen for sale.
- Mood: amused
an_idle_fellow takes such smashing pictures. Especially when I'm just snapping random stuff with the camera on my iPhone. But sometimes you see silly things, the spouse is nowhere near (like downtown maybe, or San Francisco)...- Mood: amused
Has anyone else been getting Viagra spam in German? It started about ten days ago, and I'm getting 15 or 20 a day. I don't speak German very well (despite the best efforts of the TAs in the German department at Indiana University. Es tut mir wirklich Leid, Fraulein Schumann), so I'm not sure exactly what they're saying. But God Almighty it sounds dirty.
Es ist ein wundervolles körperliches Erlebnis, dem ein genauso tiefes Gefühl folgt.
That sounds way more filthy than English. I'm too embarrassed to run it through Babelfish.
And then, when Nigerian fraudspam just couldn't get any more ludicrous:
This is to bring to your notice that we are delegated from the UNITED NATIONS in Central Bank to pay 150 victims of scam $1,000,000.00 USD (One Million Dollars Only each).You are listed and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims to be paid this amount, get back to this office as soon as possible for the immediate payments of your $1,000,000.00 USD compensations funds.
Self-referential financial scamming! Where the hell is Douglas Hofstadter when you need him?
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